Reflections of a Prisoner
by Z. Alexander
Summary: In this world, consumed by war and pointless destruction of human souls, why not kiss and tell? You'll all be dead soon anyway. AkuRoku.


I shouldn't have? I know, I know. I'm just awesome. (Okay, so not really. I'm really neglecting my other fans - the ones who wait patiently for me to get off my lazy ass and update my works in progress. But how could I say no to this? I'm actually posting this from New York, because I'm visiting my parents right now and they think the fact that I write fanfiction is just adorable. Apparently, they follow my stories religiously. I'm a little freaked out, actually.) The main characters in this are Roxas and Yuna, though this is completely AkuRoku. There are hints of Yuna/Tidus at the end. If you laugh at this, that's okay. It's supposed to be light, even though the story isn't really light at all. To clear up any confusion there might be: this is Roxas telling his story to the other occupants of his cell.

Disclaimer: is probably not needed. But in case someone from Square Enix comes along and doesn't see the name of this website and takes offense to my absolute butchering of their masterpiece, I've got it covered. I don't own anything Square Enix, Disney, or...anything else I may have referenced in this. (I have a bad habit of quoting books without realizing I'm quoting, but I don't think I did that here.)

* * *

**I**

Favorite color? Red.

Favorite flavor? Sea-salt, of course.

Favorite food? These days, whatever I can stomach. I've been here since July sixth. Yeah, two months. I'm just glad I have companions now, even though I'm sure it sucks for you.

Wait, wait. You're asking me, on this great wide world and any others that may be out there, if I could only really Love-love (as opposed to the whole you're-my-family-and-I-_have_-to-love-you love) one person, who would it be? That's really random, but all too easy.

Axel Philip.

We've been best friends since...I don't even know. Third grade, probably. I mean, I've been his best friend since first. But when he became mine was when I punched my best friend, Riku, in the schnoz because he was picking on...okay, I should actually start from the beginning, huh?

My name is Roxas Sparrow. Is my dad a smooth-talking pirate who makes it a habit to get into tight spots and confuse the hell out of everyone so he can escape?

Not quite.

See, he can't confuse my mom any more. That's the reason he married her, you know. Basically, she earned his a) respect, b) sometimes-admiration, and c) well-hidden love. She married him because...

Actually, I have no idea. It was kind of unexpected, I think. But at least she didn't actually marry that poncy Will Turner. Roxas Turner sounds...okay, but Sora Turner sounds retarded. (He's my older brother. By a few minutes. He insists we're the same age, but if I play the 'younger brother' card, I can get him to do stuff for me.)

So, we don't see our parents an awful lot, because they're - wait for it - pirates. Who saw that one coming? If you didn't...well, I'm not gonna go there. You probably won't understand me anyway.

So when we were seven, we started hanging out with Aunts Flora, Fauna, and Meriwether. No, they're not actually related to us. But they insist on the titles, and they feed us goodies, so why would I mind? The only relative I have is an old (very, very old) pirate grandpa. I've never met him.

So you're probably thinking: what does this have to do with anything? The answer is: very little. But it was interesting, right...?

Ahem.

The Aunts actually do have two nieces and a nephew, though. The children of Giselle and Robert Philip. Morgan, Kairi and Axel. See? We're coming full-circle, and now we can go on. Phew. I was feeling a little ramblish there.

I met Axel in first grade, when I got kicked out of my other school for scaring the other children. I didn't do it on purpose, but apparently they didn't like my light shows. Whatever.

He was kind of a loner. Not because he was 'scary' like me (unlike me, he knew what OP was and hid his pretty well), but because he was too smart for the class and no one really understood him. Now, it only serves to make him look mysterious or some other bullshit, according to Larxene (bless her cold little heart). But back then, everyone just thought he was weird.

He has red hair. And when I say red, I mean it. He's the kind of guy you just have to ask whether his hair is natural, but he'll just ask you if you want to find out. He looks a little like a clown, since he has these weird birthmarks on his face, right below his eyes. And he really looks like he birthed six children, and then stopped eating altogether. Obviously, I was immediately fascinated.

He caught me playing with my light, and he showed me his fire. After that, we were friends. The end, etc. But I had already met this guy, Riku. He was in the class above us, and he thought I was cool. We became best friends, and so on and so forth. Then, in third grade, I saw him picking on Axel. He was stealing his backpack or something - I don't remember because the thing I remember is breaking his nose.

Axel wasn't defenseless. But torching another kid is generally a no-no in a playground setting, so he was playing weak to get Riku off his case before he lost his...temper. That wouldn't have gone over too well.

I, however, had no reservations. I have pirates for parents, and fighting is part of the early training package. Also, elementals have to stick together. So I knocked Riku out, etc, and Axel became my best friend. Years went by, and now there we were, eighteen and almost finished with senior year.

It's funny that I'm telling this story now, when it should be told when I'm fifty and this is all over. But I have no idea if I'll live that long, so while we're all locked up here and you're begging for it, I might as well tell you all about it. Take your mind off the hunger, thirst and excessive cabin fever.

So here goes.

**II**

I'm sure you all remember the beginning of the war, right? Most of you are actually from Radiant Garden, so I'm sure you do. But it started differently for us Islanders.

When the Alliance was formed, we were all in our freshman year. It was only global news. It seemed like a fairytale, to us, because most people didn't understand or even know about the Other Power. My parents, being on the other side of World Law (usually), tried to avoid the Alliance and the New Order. They're...free people. And awesome, but that's beside the point.

Freshman year came and went, and in sophomore year, they added mandatory scanners in the front doors. Sora's senses would always go crazy - he's an Empath-caster hybrid, you know how that is - so we usually snuck into the school without going through the scanners. I can manipulate light, obviously, so I cloaked us and either Sora warped us in or we snuck through the back windows.

By the end of junior year, though, they got wise to us. They started counting names, so they would know who was sneaking into school. There were a bunch of us - nine in all - including, funnily enough, Riku. Who was still a prick, but I couldn't say anything because for some reason Sora liked him.

We finally realized what the scanners were - OP sensors. I know they're common here, but remember, the Islands are usually very far removed from everything. When they finally caught us, we went through the Drafting process.

I don't know if you've ever seen it happen, but...it feels a lot worse than it looks, and it looks like they're trying to turn you inside out. In a way, they actually are. They rip your emotions out of you so you can have full capacity for concentration 'on the mission.'

They did us in groups. They did Axel and Xion first, then Larxene and Marluxia. They were in the process of doing me and Naminé - yeah, of course, we weren't just standing there! They had these cuffs on us, the kind that make you sick if you even think about retaliating. Do you think we're stupid?

They were almost done with me - Naminé was just getting out of her pod - when Sora went berserk. I'm not kidding. He threw up in the guards' faces a few times, picked the lock on his cuffs, Cured himself, and then cast Stopga on the guards. Took them out with a Blizzaga. Yes, he was advanced for a shrimpy eighteen-year-old. That's just how awesome he is.

He, Riku, and Kairi were spared the torture, etc, and the Drafting process never finished. He helped us get out safely, but we couldn't stay aboveground. Too risky. We might as well have worn neon pink signs on our backs saying 'TAKE ME!'

...Yes, I did mean to make a funny. Believe it or not, this isn't my first time in prison, so I've learned the best way to deal with this shit is to pretend I have a sense of humor.

**III**

We lost track of Sora when he got snatched up by the New Order. Nothing against those guys - they're fighting for the freedom of the oppressed and all that shit - but their leader is a bigger prick than Riku. Ansem the Wanker - I mean, the Wise. Ansem the Wise.

Riku got carried away quickly too. Lady Maleficent, old bitch, promised to help him find Sora, who he's ridiculously devoted to. It was a ploy to get him into the Alliance, and it worked.

Kairi got away. Kind of. She got rushed by a bunch of Soldiers and Shadows, but my parents swooped in and kidnapped her. Of course, somehow she got kidnapped _again_ by one of the most incompetent captains ever, James Hook. I don't know what happened after that, but it must have been pretty mortifying for my parents. I mean…bested by the guy who believes a crocodile and a little kid are his worst enemies. _Ouch._

What happened to the others? Naminé disappeared. I hope she's safe; she was like a sister to me. But I don't know for sure.

The rest of us were picked up by Organization XIII. Oh, you've never heard of it? We were the ones who never completed the final phase of the Draft. We aren't Heartless battle-drones, but we aren't human any more, so...it was like we didn't even exist. There were more than thirteen of us, but Naminé wasn't with us, and Xion - she hung around with me and Axel for a while - wasn't really there by choice. She...died, or something. I don't know what happened.

Xemnas was our leader, and however power-hungry and odd he was, he did help us. All we really wanted was to become human again, and he was smart enough to figure out away. So there began Project: Kingdom Hearts.

Sounds like a video game? Funny, I thought the same thing. Too bad it wasn't.

**IV**

I guess you could say that's when it started, really. I mean the...thing...between me and Axel. He took to the Organization a lot better than I did. It was different for him than it was for me; he'd finished the first phase of the Draft, but I hadn't even finished that. So I had a bit of feeling left.

And I couldn't remember a thing. I remembered after a while, of course, but...yeah, I should go in order for this too.

It was like finally finding a place for myself, but at the same time, not belonging at all. I was different from the rest of the world for being, for lack of a better term, a Nobody. But I was different from the others because I still had a bit of heart.

It was my job to fight the Alliance, because Xemnas really believed that by studying the Heartless army we could find the key to getting our hearts back. No one else had the right kind of weapon to get through the Heartless armor, so it kinda _had _to be me. That's because my Natural Weapon is a pair of Keyblades. Yeah, the Keyblades. They're real. I'd summon them now, but this cell is silver. It blocks our powers. You didn't know that? How could you possibly...guh. I'm not going there.

It was sort of natural that Axel and I were partners. I knew him. He was the only thing I remembered from my former life, and I'm not going to try to hide this: I stuck to him like glue. I held his hand like a pussy. If you've ever had amnesia, you'll know why.

But he didn't mind. In fact, he liked it. Apparently, he'd been in some sort of weird love with me since he knew what it was. He never...led me on, saying we were together or anything. He didn't have to. Without my reservations from my old life - you know, not wanting to be with anyone because I thought I was unattractive - don't. Please. In my old life I had braces and glasses and my clothes never fit properly because I'm shaped funny. They ripped my braces off during the Draft process and fixed my eyes with the lasers, because glasses are a liability in battle.

What I'm trying to say is that Axel and I just were meant for each other. The end, etc. Besides, he wasn't much of a looker, but he was awesome in bed. He did this thing with his knuckles...

Why _shouldn't _I kiss and tell? You're all going to die, too.

**V**

It's funny how it's only me and you three left. I mean, ironic, because you're girls. I can tell you're totally turned on by the thought of me with another guy. Know what? I am too. I wonder if Tidus and Wakka just gave up during their little torture sessions because they were tired of hearing about me and Axel. But you're not.

...You really want to hear about that? Okay...I guess. Hell, I'm not shy.

I really liked it when he wouldn't hold back. He knew I wasn't weak, and my pain tolerance is really high. It was amazing. I don't know how to explain without getting into...

...Oh. Okay. Well, I'm one of those people who don't really enjoy sex unless there's pain involved. I don't mean the kind of pain that comes from bottoming, since Axel - selfish bastard that he is - usually refused to top. But I mean the kind of pain that comes from being sliced open or burned or even...

Yes, of course. I loved it when he would consent to top, because he would do that. He'd chain me up and do anything I begged for. I still have the scars from this time we found a bullwhip and…

Calm down, I liked it more than anyone could ever understand. I was more Nobody than human, so the physical pain that came with that kind of thing made me actually feel alive.

But sometimes we'd take a break from the heavy stuff like that. We'd spend an hour just kissing. Well, more than kissing. I could never keep my hands off him for very long, because he made the most delicious noises and he knew how to absolutely drive me crazy with just his tongue. Why do you want to hear about this anyway?

...Yeah. It _was_ amazing, while it lasted.

**VI**

Don't mind me. I've been through a lot more than this in the time I've been working against the Order. This time, they only did the whole spikes-under-the-nails gig. Pretty tame. What, does blood make you sick or something?

...Okay, okay. I didn't expect anyone to _actually_ be interested. But I'll go on.

I eventually remembered everything. It was really hard to cope with, because by the time I remembered what they meant to me, I'd already lost Larxene and Marluxia. They were caught up in one of their own schemes and got fried by a member of the Order. I don't know who it was, and Axel refused to tell me. Probably because he knew I'd want to go kill them.

Before she died, Larx told me something important. She said, "Roxie, listen to me. Axel is going to stick by you no matter what. So you better take care of him, because I refuse to listen to him bitch. Also, don't hurt him. For the same reason."

She was just like that. Marly was different, but they were perfect for each other. I guess it was fitting that they went out together. They were together even in death.

Hey, I'm allowed to be sentimental on occasion. I'm a free spirit, even if I'm totally not free.

When I remembered, though...I had to leave him behind. I mean, it was driving me crazy, not knowing what had happened to Sora. And I knew if Axel went with me, he'd get eliminated by the Organization. At least I could spare him _my_ end.

So I broke my promise to Larxene and I hurt him, bad. I told him I didn't care, and that I believed no one would miss me. It was supposed to make him stay behind. Make him move on. I hope it did.

I really hope it did.

**VII**

Where do you think Rikku is? It's been a few days.

You're probably right. She's probably dead.

...I don't really feel like talking right now. Sorry.

**VIII**

Just you and me, huh, Yuna? Paine is...maybe in a better place, if you believe in heaven or other shit like that.

I'll finish, then.

I went out to find Sora. Instead, Riku found me. Remember the prick? Yeah, that Riku. He was working for the New Order, finally, and he got it into his head that Sora was messed up by someone from the Organization. And he thought if he caught me, he could figure out how to reverse the damage.

Like hell I'm giving him any information about us, though. I certainly don't respect him, and even though Sora is my brother, he can take care of himself. Axel is the one I'm worried about. He was always softer than me. They can half-drown me, spike me, kill me for all I care. I think of this as my first and last selfless act. For once, none of this is about me. Just Axel.

Hey, I'm actually relieved to have all that out. I can hear someone coming, and it's my turn. I have a knack for sensing these things. If I don't see you again...don't give in. They don't deserve it and you deserve to go out with honor. Doing what you believe in. If nothing else...do it for Tidus. You know. Do it for love.

Or some other bullshit.


End file.
